KFP #1: Be Your Own Master

I've often been known to use movies and songs as a means of getting messages across to my athletes.  Hands down I've realized that the best coaching movie is in fact… Kung Fu Panda.  And its lessons are so profound that one post simply won't capture everything.  I've split up the lessons into two parts… this one is for the athletes, the next will be for the coaches.

What makes a master?  What IS a master?  In order to be called a master of something it is implied that you are an expert, completely knowledgeable and able to demonstrate all aspects of the art at hand.  It is nearly impossible to be a true master of anything.  Any good coach or athlete will admit that they never know EVERYTHING about any given sport.  But you CAN be a master.  Instead of learning to master a skill, learn first to master yourself, young grasshopper.

If you haven't seen Kung Fu Panda, here is a shortened synopsis… spoiler alert!!!  Po, a giant panda is selected to become the dragon warrior.  He is described as fat, bumbling, and with bad hygiene.   However unsuited to learn martial arts, Po's dreams are to be a kung fu master and he works tirelessly, never quitting.  Meanwhile, the villain Tai Lung has escaped from the overconfident rhino's prison and is headed to the valley.  Po finally realizes that just like his father's "secret ingredient soup" is just plain soup, there is no secret hidden within the scroll - "to make something special you simply have to believe it"… and with this Po realizes he is in fact the dragon warrior.  Tai Lung arrives in the valley and is ultimately defeated when Po does the Wuxi finger hold, used by his master Shifu that he figured out on his own.  Awesome.

Lesson #1: RESPECT OTHERS.

It is so easy to look at a new athlete and immediately judge them to be inferior.  True athletes know to watch out for those have the desire to excel.  I always tell my athletes,never underestimate those who aren't yet trained, because those who want it most will quickly excel over you.  Also, never underestimate people by how they look(their size for example).  For most of my athletes, this includes yourself - for the longest time I had "B" team athletes… comprised of shorter, less experienced, rookie, and awkward athletes.  So what?!  It doesn’t matter how short, how new, how strangely you may be built… if you want it badly enough… you can overcome.  Too short?  Work on your jump.  Less experienced?  Get more touches in.  Rookie?  Find positive role models, play with people who you will learn from.  Awkward?  Fake it until you become it.  And if you're already a pro star, congratulations.  Show some respect for people who aren't yet where you are… and watch out.  With a good sifu (teacher) and training, they might just end up dragon warrior-ing your ass.

Lesson #2: HUMILITY. 

We are all trained to lose with dignity.  But to WIN with humility is far greater.  Don't get cocky.  Just because you've build up your walls, your fortress, strengthened yourself, doesn't mean a single other person can't take you down.  Always respect that your win came at the price of someone else losing.  And BTW, masters are allowed to lose.  Let not the win or loss determine how your character is shaped.  You learn more from losing than you do from winning.  The person who knows what it's like to lose will appreciate the win more.

Lesson #3: LEARN. 

Your coaches will always be there to guide you along your path, but hopefully if you've got a good coach, they've given you something to strive for… take the initiative. Figure it out yourself.  Take your own time, your own efforts to figure out how to fix something in your game.  Your coach is just your guide.  Masters take charge of their own art.  And when you're under the direction of your coach… earn your way there.  The dragon scroll is not just "given" to someone who is selected, they have to earn it.  Just like jobs before your big career, athletes must learn to play the bench before they play the court.  Earn your right to play.  Demonstrate to your sifu that you are ready.

Lesson #4: FIGHT.

Chase your dreams.  No matter how unsuited, how late it may seem, never let go of your dreams.  Even if everyone tells you that you're something else… if you dreams are to excel, then give it your all.  You will fall, you will make mistakes, but these should not be equated as FAILURES.  Mistakes are the path to SUCCESS.  You can't possible win every match, you can't possible make every pass, every set, every hit.  Let your dreams include mistakes, because there's no other way to get there.  If you make a mistake, don't be sorry.  "Sorry doesn't make the noodles."  Accept it, and continue to chase the dream.

Lesson #5: BELIEVE.

For some people this is the most difficult lesson of all…  Believe in your ability to be great.  If you never believe that you can achieve your dreams, then you will be correct.  There is no secret ingredient.  If volleyball were as simple as some trick that only the best knew, eventually we would all be the best… those who are destined to greatness believe in their ability to get there.  And as the movie demonstrates, it also helps to have a coach that believes in you as well… and reminds you of the same.  Surround yourself with coaches and teammates who believe in your ability to conquer.

Coach Daph: Any mention of "I can't" results in a 100 lunges punishment.

Athlete: What if it's "I can't breathe?"

Coach Daph: Well, if you really can't breathe, then you wouldn't be able to say, "I can't breathe…" so yes.

Learn to master yourself before you master your art.

That's what my coach says.

That's what my coach says!

Everyone's a coach.  Okay, I'm REALLY a coach, but we can all think of a time where someone came to us for advice.  What do I do?  How do I deal?  I never thought I was very good at giving advice, until I was put into a position where I HAD to give good advice.  As a volleyball coach to teenagers and young adults, every ounce of my effort demanded that I not only be a good role model, but that each time I answered a question, made a correction, gave encouragement… that I was verbalizing things that would IMPROVE the situation.  Over the years my mentalities on life have changed and my desire to inspire and do better are always clawing at me.  Thus this blog was born.

It's inception was as the result of one of my athletes asking for guidance.  After having graduated from the 18U volleyball program, it was natural that our discussions started to center more around life and relationships.  Even at the tender age of 18, my dear athlete had suffered a tremendous heartbreak.

"How do you stay so strong?  I admire that because I find myself breaking down…"  My response was: "Just because you don't see me break down, doesn't mean I don't… but I've learned to try to stay positive."

And in a nutshell, that's what coaching is.  Coaching doesn't mean churning out varsity recruited athletes by the truckloads, or making stacked line ups, or being an authoritative slave driver (most of the time).  Coaching means, moving positively.  No matter what you do, everything that falls under the realm of "coaching" merely means moving FORWARD.  We have practices so our players can get better.  We think carefully about who we can put on the court so we can have a better game than our opponents.  We advise, correct, administrate everything so that each step makes each person just a tiny bit BETTER.  And hopefully by the end of the journey, each little step has meant giant leaps… for mankind.

So I hope this is what this blog will be for anyone who reads it… a positive encouragement for whatever it is that ails you right now.  Sometimes it will be about volleyball, sometimes it will be about life.  Sometimes things about volleyball apply to life.  A blog won't fix anything overnight… any coach knows they can't fix anything overnight (except for sleep deprivation)… but sometimes you just need that tiny little push to get you moving yourself in the right direction.

"When people say to me, 'How do you get through life or each day,' it's the same thing.  To me there are three things we should all do every day.  We should do this every day of our lives.  #1 is laugh.  You should laugh every day.  #2 is think.  You should spend some time in thought.  #3 is you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy.  But think about it.  If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day.  That's a heck of a day.  You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special… How do you go from where you are to where you want to be?  I think you have to have an enthusiasm for life.  You have to have a dream, a goal.  You have to be willing to work for it… as Ralph Waldo Emerson said, 'Nothing great could be accomplished without enthusiasm,' to keep your dreams alive in spite of problems whatever you have... the ability to be able to work hard for your dreams to come true, to become a reality." - Jim Valvano, Head basketball coach of NCSU, 1983 NCAA Basketball Tournament Championship, 1993 ESPY Arthur Ashe Courage and Humanitarian Award Winner, speech given just 8 weeks before he died of cancer

Be so enthusiastic that it moves you to tears.  You won't always win every game.  But you can always get better.  Whether or not you win the point, don't lose the lesson.

That's what my coach says.